I'm Having a Mother Moment!

I'm in the throes of a Mother Moment! Mr MP, my young son, has been on a "presidential mission" since Sunday. He was expected to be back this morning but I haven't heard from him yet. It's 2:45 his time. He informed me before departure that he would take his cell phone and try to call me if he could. His mission - "escorting" for the inaugeration. I sent 2 text messages on Sunday (about the Arizona game), then had Facebook chat with Mrs MP on Tuesday. She had only talked with Mr. MP for 2 minutes that day. She really didn't have any details on Mr. MP's mission. Then I call Mr. MP's cell phone a few minutes ago and can only connect with his voice mail. Good Grief! I want to talk to my son! RIGHT NOW! I want all of the exciting details of the last 4 days.

Okay...it helps to clarify something. I want all of the exciting details. I think the "I want" part of that sentence is self-explanatory, if you catch my drift. Based on my frustration right now...I can only assume my very first phone call with Mr. MP, while he is driving home from his mission, will sound something like this...

Mr. MP calls:
Mom: "Hi honey. How was your mission? Were you excited?...Did..."

Mr. MP: "Ummm..." (I haven't taken a breath yet, so I don't hear Mr. MP talking)
Mom: "Did you get to see the President? Did you see anyone you knew?..."

Mr. MP: "Well..." (Did he say something? I continue talking before I lose my train of thought.)
Mom: "By the way, you need to change your voice mail. It still says Private. I thought we talked about that before."

Mr. MP: "Mom!"
Mom: "What?"

Mr. MP: "Can I call you back?"
Mom: "What?????"

Mr. MP: "I'm tired."
Mom: "Tired? Really? Well, I'll have you know that not everyone is as lucky as you are to have participated in a presidential mission during this exciting HISTORIC EVENT!"

Mr. MP: "Okay. (sighs)"
Mom: "Can't you tell me anything? You know...trying to have a conversation with you is like pulling teeth!"

Mr. MP: "It wasn't THAT exciting!"
Mom: "There's no need to get testy about it Mr. MP (I really use his first, middle and last name firmly)"

Mr. MP: "I need to go. I'm home now and I want to tell Mrs. MP about the mission."
Mom: "What??? Okay, whatever. Call me later. Call me soon. Call in 10 minutes okay?"

Ahhhhhh...the somewhat psychotic behavior of a mother when she's slipped into the infamous CONTROL MODE.

I can only hope that he calls soon. I can't wait to hear if he actually saw the President? Did he meet anyone? You know...EXCITING STUFF!

Wait...my phone is ringing. It's Mr. MP! Finally!!!!

What you are about to read is the conversation in near-perfect verbatim form. I took notes during our call.

Mom: "Son - I'm so glad to hear from you! How was it?"
Mr. MP: "There were a lot of cops"

Mom: "There were a lot of cops????"
Mr. MP: "Yeah"

Mom: "I heard on the news that there were 20,000 soldiers, MPs like yourself, and police - so yeah...there'd be a lot of cops". (Did he really graduate from high school? I think he did - but I'm beginning to wonder.)
Mr. MP: "Yeah"

Mom: "Are you on your way home?"
Mr MP: "No I've been home"

Mom: (snarling) "When did you get home?"
Mr. MP: "This morning."

Mom: "Why didn't you call me?"
Mr. MP: "Mrs MP and I had to run some errands. I got home about 9:30"

Mom: (That is 6:30 a.m. my time and I am just now hearing from him? Are you kidding me?? Change the subject!) Okay, well what did you do in your mission?"
Mr. MP: "That's classified."

Mom: "WHAT?????????????" (He had already informed me of what he would be doing because he had had a trial run last week so what's up with this?)
Mr. MP: "That's classified"

Mom: (I heard you the first time Mr. P) "Are you serious?"
Mr. MP: "Well...it was classified until now."

Mom: (I'm pulling my hair out and rolling my eyes into the back of my brain looking for patience!) "Can you tell me what you did?"
Mr. MP: "Well...we went to Location 1, escorted buses to Location 2..." (There is background chatter. Mr. MP is now involved in a conversation with Mrs MP about turning the television down - did I just hear my son call his wife DUDE????) "...Anyhow then we went to Location 3 and escorted military color guard to Location 2". (I'm using "Location" to protect the innocent - ME! Should Mr. MP ever read my blog - there could be hell to pay for naming the actual Locations, because I would probably get them wrong.)

Mom: "That took you 5 days to do this?" (I'm in full mother madness now - - I'm exaggerating the time frame. Sunday through today is 4 days but throwing in the extra day adds emphasis to my statement.)
Mr. MP: "Ummmm, you mean 2 days?"

Mom: "TWO DAYS??????? I thought you left Sunday"
Mr. MP: "No we didn't leave until Monday"

Mom: (Okay now I really question whether he graduated high school because Monday through Wednesday is three days in my book). "I texted you about the game on Sunday and you never responded. I thought you were leaving Sunday"
Mr. MP: "I texted you back - I told you I was watching the game."

Mom: (Furiously looks through received text!) "I DID NOT receive a text from you."
Mr. MP: "Well I sent it."

Mom: "Well I didn't get it."
Mr. MP: "Hold on." (now looking through his sent text) "Oh...it didn't go through. It has an X."

Mom: (Sighs again). "Well were you anywhere near DC?" (I ask this because of the locations he gave me.)
Mr. MP: "Uh-yeah...(like I'm stupid!)...you go right through DC to get to Location 1."

Mom: (Sighs really loud into the phone) "What I mean is...(composing myself briefly) were you anywhere near the presidential activities on inaugeration day?"
Mr. MP: "No."

Mom: "Did you have a good time?"
Mr. MP: "It wasn't too bad - kind of a hassle."

Mom: "Okay..." (I finally give up) "...why don't I call you when I get home from work."
Mr. MP: "Okay, bye."

I have to tell you, I was laughing hysterically through some of this conversation and Mr. MP has no clue as to why. I laugh and tell him I had envisioned our conversation to be something like it was. He laughs - probably just to humor me.

Why I think that my Mother Control freak outs would have any benefit is beyond me. They didn't help me in any way when Mr. MP was in high school when I would frequently spin off into a tangent that always included "Where were you? Why didn't you call me? What were you thinking?"

Now that I'm calm again and the craziness of my Mother Moment has subsided, I will remember to read this blog when I need a good belly laugh. The only thing I will need to read is the first two lines of my phone call with Mr. MP:

Mom: "Son - I'm so glad to hear from you! How was it?" (escorting for inaugeral activities)
Mr. MP: "There were a lot of cops"