Sometimes You Feel Like A Klutz...Sometimes You Don't

I am klutz! There is no doubt about it. This isn't new news to me. Nor is it new news to anyone who knows me. I've been a klutz my whole life and I accept that. When I was younger, I had hoped I would grow out of it, like a teenager growing out of their awkward gangly stage. But now that I'm older, I've come to terms with my klutziness and I fully embrace it...and all the injuries it creates.

When I was a freshmen in high school, I was wearing my brand new "swabbys" - a really cool pair of high waisted blue jeans with wide legs...and...my new clogs! Wow - I was feeling super groovy that day! The bell rang and I was talking with friends and then realized with a shock that my bus would be leaving shortly.

I wanted to make sure I got to the bus quickly because it was always crowded and if late, I would be stuck sitting with people in a "three in a seat" situation. As a freshman I was not particularly comfortable in my own skin, and sitting up front in the same seat with two other people was easier to deal with instead of making my way to the back of the bus and sitting with the jocks and the stoners. I was pretty much a geek, but in a fun to be around geeky kind of way. :)

Okay, back to the story. I'm quickly walking to the bus and then realize I need to run. So run I did. Clomp! Clomp! Those clogs made so much noise! All of a sudden I biffed it - HUGE! I went down hard! Imagine the sight. Papers and pee-chees, and my clogs, flying everywhere. I'm layed out flat as a pancake on the cement as my peers walk by me headed to their cars...or their bus. Did anyone see me fall? I certainly hope not. That would be so humiliating! I pretend I don't see anyone smiling (and laughing). I don't want a big scene to occur should anyone care to ask if I'm okay, so I spring off the pavement like I'm performing an arobatic dismount off a trampoline. I quickly put myself back together and gather my pee-chees and papers...and clogs...and as I'm literally dusting myself off, I see a large ripped hole in the knee area of my brand new swabbys! I can't believe it! Man, this is the pits!! My swabbys? With a hole? Keep in mind, it's not the 80s yet, where everything was acid washed, shredded and holy. And by holy, I'm referring to holes in the knee area. If you weren't sporting those ripped knee holes in the 80s, you were fashion citation waiting to happen! But in the mid-70s, a hole in my swabbys was not cool at all!!

Okay...so much for then. Now it's time for...

Yesterday.

Ms. Independent came home to visit and we went to the swimming pool at my apt complex after I got off work. I'm a little heavier than I want to be right now, so I'm trying to keep my head held high as I walk proudly in my winter white skin and very tight bathing suit. There are people at the pool (ugh), however, I continue holding my head up high as I quickly claim a chaise lounge chair and begin to sit down and relax. Then I realize I need a little table between our lounge chairs. I get up and pick one up and then my worst nightmare of klutziness began. I rounded the chair too close, was feeling a little dizzy - just a little, and hooked my two toes on the chair leg, which extended far beyond true need. I lost my balance, and the table and I entered into the slow motion disaster of falling. The table hit my lounge chair as my toes were jamming into the chair legs. Then the legs of the table completely disconnected and now a table top and two sets of disconnected legs are falling along with me. One of the leg ends jabbed me in the ribs after it poked me in my upper arm. My upper thigh fell into the blunt end of the lounge chair armrest and quite possibly served as a buffer to what could have been worse. And all the while, the glass table top is nearing the cement. I desperately try to save it from breaking and position my foot between the falling table top and the cement.

It's over. The glass didn't break and I didn't fall directly onto the cement. But my toes are throbbing. My rib is throbbing. My arm is throbbing. And I'm shaking from the event. Oh yeah - and then there's the "did anyone see me" issue frantically racing about my brain.

If this happened in Vegas...it would've stayed in Vegas. But it happened at the pool where I live. Did anyone ask if I was okay? No. It's like high school all over again. Were any of my acquaintances there? No, I really don't know anyone at the complex, but I could at a later time. And once again, I've made one heck of an impression, huh?

It hit 95 degrees today. I thought about a swim after work. Then I thought about yesterday's events and elected to take a cold bath. It seemed to be the better choice. The pool can wait until I find my balance again.