Thoughts...Concerns...Reality

Thoughts...once you have them, they can twist into a whole new version of reality. The irony is that I have always believed in the concept that thought is reality. You think, you create it - slam! There's your reality. If you think negatively, then negativity is what you are surrounded by. If you think positively, then positive energies are within you and around you.

Well...let's think about thoughts that creep up from the depths of the subconscious...knocking at your reality, begging to come in. Once you open that door, subconsciously of course, now your thoughts have turned into concerns and reality is right around the corner to help you learn that what you are concerned about probably isn't as bad as what you think it may be.

Let me give you an example.

When Ms. Independent moved out, so did my last tax exemption. Don't get me wrong...my children are not dollar signs or tax credits, but for the first time in 22 years, I will be filing as a single person with ZERO dependents. Wow, I have to tap into the vault of archived memories to remember what filing "single" does to my net income. Naturally, I need to take action. Adjust my filing status immediately. Well, "immediately" became "next month" so I could buckle down and prepare for the loss of approximately $300 or more in net income. Thoughts of "what the heck am I gonna do?", "am I going to be okay financially?", and "what if I'm not okay financially" rise to the surface.

At the same time, I'm wrestling with a very demanding work schedule last week. Meetings, deadlines, etc. I wake up Monday morning (of last week) and I'm struggling...I don't feel well...but I get myself through the morning with the promise of a day off forthcoming soon. A three day weekend baby! Next week (as in tomorrow). Then my co-worker tells me Memorial Day is at the END of May. Darn it! I was confused. I was so desperate for a long weekend. I needed one extra day - that's all. Just one! You get where I'm going with this. Thoughts overcome me...the kind of thoughts that are something like "all I need is an extra day off" in a whiny drawn out and repetative thought process.

And then here comes reality. The need for one, just one extra day off...one long weekend...became three full days off work plus the weekend. Not for good times. Not just because. I was sick. I was really sick. Not swine flu sick...but sick and in bed for three and half days. It's Sunday, and I'm just starting to feel human again, but most of today has consisted of standing up, laying down for awhile and stand up, and then I need to lay back down. You get the drift. What was once a repeating thought of how I needed one more day became too many days off with the reality slap of illness.

The other part of my reality came from the three days off in that the last few years have brought me one thing or another illness wise and my sick leave was expended as of Thursday of last week. Friday became no work - no pay. Again, the need to tap into the vault of archived memories on what it must be like to have a day off without pay. I don't know this scenario...it's been way too long since I was confronted with this concept.

The lesson? My Higher Power has given me a scenario in which my pay will be shorted slightly, appoximately 1/2 of what filing single will result in later. What a great opportunity to find out how invalid my concerns are. Secondly, I wasn't clear about why I need a day off, and in what fashion that day needed to be spent in...such as a healthy day. So my Higher Power, once again, always calling me to learn what lack of positive thinking will do to a person, reminded me that I could have a lot of days off...I just wouldn't be healthy enough to enjoy them.

Why do I forget, quite frequently, that I'm not the one at the wheel of life? Whatever I need, however I need it, will be given to me. God takes great care of me. Unfortunately, God's version of need and my version of need can vary to a great degree. What I think I need...sometimes is not in my best interest. If I would let go, and let God, all of my needs will be met, each and every time.

Here's what I need: I need to remember that God's got it all taken care of for me. I just need to let it unfold the way He planned it.