Repair or Toss?

Have you ever had that thing…you know…that thing that you just can’t get rid of? The one you hang on to, for far too long, for whatever reasons you deem important? Be it a favorite pair of jeans, albeit two sizes too small, or a coffee cup from a frequent vacation spot that held a lot of meaning at one time, but in retrospect, you never really cared for the shape of the cup or how the handle fit in your hand.

I go through periods of evaluating these things from time to time. I enter the realm of “toss” with ease, and quite frequently. Out with the old and in with the new. If I haven’t used it, worn it, or looked at it in the last year, then it has worn out its welcome in my house and out it goes. But not everything needs to be tossed. Sometimes all that is needed is a little “repair”. An additional screw inserted into a hidden spot may save the wobbly chair…maybe. A fresh coat of paint might actually enhance that really weird piece of furniture that was perfect during a bizarre fad deco period, but doesn’t fit quite right with the comfortable earthy décor of current day.

The repair mode will always involve some level of uncertainty, depending upon skill and experience and overall desire to invest the time necessary to conduct the repair. Of course, any attempt to repair something may actually worsen the original condition, or…if handled with care and caution, the problem may be solved, letting the repair breathe new life into the thing that was once caught between repair and toss.

You know that in between place. The one congested with thoughts of “I know I need to get rid of this old thing…it doesn’t work for me anymore, but what if…?” or “why the heck do I still have this…but if I toss it, how will I know for certain that I may not want it again someday?” I will always find cause to hang onto a few things, despite the knowledge that I will never…ever…need it, want it, or use it again. I will shove it in a box and ignore it, even forget about it, for years. Then comes the moment of spring cleaning and “it” has been unearthed from under the bed or come out of hiding from the back of the closet. I look at it, evaluate its purpose in my life, and wrestle with whether or not it may hold some level of importance to me in the future, even though I know it holds zero importance to me today. I might need more time to think it over, and back in the box it goes, or under the bed, or in the closet, until the next time the need to clean out the closet arises, so to speak.

I rarely spring clean in the spring. Something about July always sparks a great need in me to grab every cleaning product imaginable, put in some good elbow grease and make everything squeaky clean and shiny.

As the month is coming to a close and I’m thinking over my spring cleaning list, I ponder those things that are out of sight-out of mind and quite happily realize that I’ve already repaired or tossed everything…except that one last thing. Can it be reformed into something that actually fits in my life? Is it worth the time or effort? I’ve thought about it for quite some time. I’ve held onto it for years. What should I do?

I close my eyes and breathe. I sit quietly and let my thoughts come to me naturally. Not the pack rat type thoughts, or even the ones that have a small ray of hope attached to them. I only let in the thoughts that are of true reality.

Ahhh…yes. I accept what I’ve always known. It will never be anything other than what it always has been. And even the tiniest hope of what it could be at a later time can never change the fact that it is what it is today. I no longer need to pack this thing around with me hoping that someday…maybe…with a little luck, it will be different. It has served its purpose during the time it fit in my life, but now, it can’t be repaired, remolded, or reshaped into anything other than what it is.

I smile and exhale of sigh of relief as I feel a newfound freedom envelop me like a warm blanket. I laugh out loud as I think of how many years I’ve been dragging this thing around with me, weighting me down every time I carefully thought about what I’m going to do with it someday.

I toss it in the garbage and walk away, still smiling. Finally, I’ve emptied my baggage!!

What was in my suitcase you ask??

Those rudely obnoxious, loudly stated and fashionably overrated, orange speckled-neon green spandex pants!!